Schooling Specialist Gifts

"Do you come here often?"

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'

"Mom, please shake my chair. I'm taking a virtual school bus ride before class begins."

'This has been a drill. Had this been an actual test you would have been instructed...'

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

Today we learned to count to one.

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

'I'm supposed to take a geography test and I can't find the right room!'

You wrote a book report on a video game instruction manual?

'I'm sorry son, parents don't like the 11 plus...'

"Remember Mr. Cockbundle is not just a 'customer', he is an important source of valuable and readily marketable data."

"I guess it took a pandemic to make me realize school is better than trying to learn stuff online."

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

All Harold's aptitude test showed is that he had an aptitude for taking tests.

"Isn't there an app for this?"

The full moon frenzy strikes again."

"The day at school? Oh, you know, the usual psychological and educational stew."

Children's education

'Not just my homework - The dog chewed up my whole LAPTOP!'

Super Student

"I didn't say my dog ate my homework. I said Russian bots ate my homework."

"Should we put down what we think is right, or what we think you think is right?"

'Let's put it this way Tommy, if we could go below F minus you would be forging new territory!'

'I have answers to the kind of questions no one likes to ask.'

"What can I say? Second grade just hasn't lived up to the hype."

"Don't blame me for the grade, blame Google's algorithms."

"Where are redactions when you need them?"

"We've created a safe, nonjudgmental environment that will leave you child ill-prepared for real life."

'Personally - I'm against a four-day school week - I'm for a three-day school week. . .'

Dyslexia is no longer a disorder...

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

'I don't think my homework is very good. My dog refused to eat it.'

"There are no dumb questions, Billy, but there are plenty of dumb answers!"

"Where am I going to college? I thought this was college."