School Run Expert Gifts

'The school run.'

You wrote a book report on a video game instruction manual?

"We thought this was more realistic."

'Too much for the school run?'

I drive, therefore I am.

'It's exactly what I need to drive our only child to school at the end of the road.'

'Any child left longer than ten minutes past last bell will be given a free kitten.'

'My mum drives me to school. She says it isn't safe to walk with all the cars.'

"We were running late, so my mom faxed me to school."

"Tell me the story about Jonah and the big fish again, Dad."

"Are we there yet? Are we there yet?..."

'Just doing the school run.'

'You got him here before the tardy bell, Mrs. Bates, but I'm not sure he's prepared to learn.'

'I know I can train them to be thoughtful productive citizens if I can ever get past sit.'

'The good news is that all the teachers liked the weekend brainstorming retreat. The bad news is that twelve of them are out today with splitting headaches.'

'It's time they built a bridge for the lemmings' school run.'

"Yes, you look presentable. Now get on!"

'This is our real-time chat room.'

"I'll explain later."

'Getting my children to get out of bed and go to school was hard - So I bought a cattle-prod...'

'I didn't write the report. I printed it directly from the Internet, but I did all of the stapling and collating myself.'

'Actually, this is my vacation. I'm a substitute teacher.'

"The kids were late for school and it just stayed like that."

'Of course, like everything for kids, some assembly is required.'

'It's an optical illusion. From the front of the room, they're all busy students working on computer projects. From here though they're all busy playing internet games.'

"I won it for being lice-free."

'I appreciate the ride, Mom, but it's gotten a little weird since you started driving a school bus.'

'I got a performance indicator of either establishing, developing or emerging!'

'Who do I talk to about getting a student loan?'

"Is there something wrong with the car, Mom?"

'I'm arranging for you to get to school by car pool.'

'I think prayer in schools is necessary as long as Mrs. Smith gives hard math tests.'

Child cycling across 4x4 rooftops: 'Isn't it nice to see children cycling to school?'

'Does the Fifth Amendment apply to report cards?'

'I didn't run for class president because I was unsure if your credit rating could stand the scrutiny.'