School Year Event Gifts

"Could you tell which flower was me, daddy?"

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

"I did the best dental health poster in the class. I just hope Mr. Tooth Decay doesn't hold a grudge."

Yearbook

'Smashing party, Miss - can we have another one tomorrow?'

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'

"Do you think that will count as our 'Fifteen minutes of fame'?"

Paul goes home for the holidays

'Yes, grammar rules do evolve over time, but making up your own to 'stay ahead of the curve' won't work in this English class!'

"I thought your show-and-tell was really brave."

"Today in school we learned how to glue!"

'You must be Jimmy's father . . .'

"Moses, some of the people are requesting gluten free manna."

King of Music.

"I'm the last to go home because my parents are still fine tuning their work-life balance."

Now I'll open up the floor to questions and batsh*t crazy rants.

'An actual History lesson is set for June...'

'Don't just stand there, get into focus!'

'Oh, Christ.'

Snacks for Learners

For our eco-night entertainment we have Kim's "Dance Against Global Warming," Zahir's "Rap for the Eco Cure" and Twig's "Post-Carbon Poetry Slam." How about you, Jason? I'll explain metal organic vapor deposition in solar panels. Well! We'll see who's into heavy metal.

"OK, hands up who’s vegan... lactose intolerant... peanut allergies..."

'Trade you lunches?'

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

Science fair judge sees flower pot broken on floor near sign saying 'gravity'.

Our eco-prom theme is "Jungle Paradise." Decorations will be live plants. I see where this is leading. Can you bring in trees and bushes for the night? Sure. But

Thanks for the lift, Nana. Don't get any big ideas about acting. It's just a high school musical. I guess you aren't coming back to see the show. Correct. Tonight! Cats! Spring musical. That's ok. Slam! I'm parking now to get a front row seat!

Don't make me look! How do you like my prom dress? Don't make me look! Chill, dad, it's Nana's old dress. It isn't revealing, Honey. It's no the old dress. It's my old little girl I can't look at!

'Oh, we don't actually teach math any more ? we found it was too hard on the kids' self-esteem.'

'I've lost 2 pounds thanks to the new healthy school lunches. I don't eat them.'

"When do the kids go back to school?" "Oh, I don't know... 8 days, 16 hours and 47 minutes... or so."

'Nice going, Mom.You ate my entire insect collection. Now I'll fail biology class at school.'