School Year Gifts

'Yes, grammar rules do evolve over time, but making up your own to 'stay ahead of the curve' won't work in this English class!'

"My dog? Why no, Miss, space aliens ate my homework!"

'The problem with these eBooks is you can't use the old, 'I went to the library, but the book was out' excuse.'

'Billy, I'm not going to argue the semantics of biting. Whether or not you penetrated the skin, I'm calling your mother.'

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'

"I thought that assignment from my school was spam."

'An actual History lesson is set for June...'

May I carry your wireless eBook Reader to school for you?

With these ten digits I will be able to keep you busy with homework for the entire school year.

"School starts soon...."

Back to School.

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

"I did the best dental health poster in the class. I just hope Mr. Tooth Decay doesn't hold a grudge."

'Can I carry your computer disks to school?'

'Trade you lunches?'

"My teacher wants to talk to you? Wow. What did you do wrong?"

"How was your test?"

"Tests! That's one thing I don't like about the end of school. I can't believe it! You're not finished studying, either?"

"Today in school we learned how to glue!"

"I need materials for my awesome science project, mom. What's the limit on your credit card?"

"Every day, I ask her 'what did you learn at school today' and every day, she says 'nothing'."

'I've lost 2 pounds thanks to the new healthy school lunches. I don't eat them.'

'Well, Mom - it's about that time when you drive us to school again...'

"A pop test on the sun. Whose bright idea was that?"

"Do you think that will count as our 'Fifteen minutes of fame'?"

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

'You should concentrate on your schoolwork for now - you'll have plenty of time to pick a running mate later.'

' I'm just tired of those mean kids at school calling you 'buttface' and upsetting you! Go ahead and eat your suppository before it gets cold dear...'

'Nice going, Mom.You ate my entire insect collection. Now I'll fail biology class at school.'

Eskimo mom to kid: 'I can't believe you had a brain freeze during the test on the Ice Age.'

"I thought your show-and-tell was really brave."

Teacher to student: 'I'm a phys ed teacher, not an aerobics instructor, Sally.'

Your teacher said you could look after the school hamster. Not give it a bubble bath!

'Remember to charge your ebook readers overnight. Tomorrow we have reading class.'

'Don't just stand there, get into focus!'