School Season Gifts

Snacks for Learners

"You might as well go on, son. I don't think they're going to call off school because of the snow storm."

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

Billy, can you deliver your show 'n tell this time without the fog machine?

"Eventually, you have to stop visualizing yourself doing well on the test, and actually do the test."

'This has been a drill. Had this been an actual test you would have been instructed...'

"I did the best dental health poster in the class. I just hope Mr. Tooth Decay doesn't hold a grudge."

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

'It was bound to happen - they're beginning to think like binary computers.'

'I'm supposed to take a geography test and I can't find the right room!'

"With the caveat that the only certainty in this life is uncertainty, I still want to entertain the possibility of being a pundit when I grow up."

Evil Exams!

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'

"Do you think that will count as our 'Fifteen minutes of fame'?"

'An essay on what I did last summer? -- I was hoping to let all that stuff blow over.'

'Yes, grammar rules do evolve over time, but making up your own to 'stay ahead of the curve' won't work in this English class!'

"I got all 'Cs', but I call that an 'A' report card...'A' for 'Average.'"

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

"Today in school we learned how to glue!"

'Does the Fifth Amendment apply to report cards?'

"I thought your show-and-tell was really brave."

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN! "It was mostly okay, but there's way too much micromanagement!"

"I enjoy the one day of the school year...that I didn't forget to do my homework."

"It's going to be one of those days."

"There are days when I wish we'd never agreed to him changing his spots"

I love PE.

"According to my calculations...school starts in exactly 20 days!"

'But I did study. I guess the software didn't install successfully.'

Jimmy had a very active imagination.

"The children took off their own coats this morning, Pastor."