School Year Beginning Gifts

'It's your headmaster, Fatty. He's worried you're being bullied at school.'

'Well, when you mess up on the job, you know where you stand with me.'

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

'Remember, Edward, inside every 'F' student is a 'D' student trying to get out.'

"I did the best dental health poster in the class. I just hope Mr. Tooth Decay doesn't hold a grudge."

'This has been a drill. Had this been an actual test you would have been instructed...'

"Eventually, you have to stop visualizing yourself doing well on the test, and actually do the test."

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

A resourceful girl, Cynthia hoped to get credit in both Earth Sciences and Culinary Arts with her ozone layer cake.

'I'm supposed to take a geography test and I can't find the right room!'

Evil Exams!

The best PE teacher in the World.

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'

"When I grow up, I don�t know whether to be a stunt amn or a train driver"

" 'How I Spent My Summer Vacation,' a treatment by Todd Mozelle, Grade Three."

"Do you think that will count as our 'Fifteen minutes of fame'?"

'An essay on what I did last summer? -- I was hoping to let all that stuff blow over.'

"I've outgrown my backpack."

'Yes, grammar rules do evolve over time, but making up your own to 'stay ahead of the curve' won't work in this English class!'

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

"I thought your show-and-tell was really brave."

"Today in school we learned how to glue!"

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN! "It was mostly okay, but there's way too much micromanagement!"

"It's going to be one of those days."

"I enjoy the one day of the school year...that I didn't forget to do my homework."

I love PE.

"There are days when I wish we'd never agreed to him changing his spots"