Starting School Year Gifts

'No, Jacob. None of the classes this year require 3D glasses.'

'When I asked you to do research for your assignment, I meant the library not on Google!'

Cocoa. Make it a double. Sure, Myles. Coming up. Here ya go. Double today, everything okay? Oh yeah, sure. What's not okay about realizing 3rd grader means a whole bunch of homework and Sally Anne Peters wanted to talk about feelings? Tell me all this weirdness ends soon. Triple on the house.

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

'I was hoping we'd worn that out.'

"Is that a smile on her face?"

"But I thought what happened in Ms. Vega's classroom stays in Ms. Vega's classroom."

"His grades are in free fall, John. How can we get him to focus?"

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

'Remember, Edward, inside every 'F' student is a 'D' student trying to get out.'

"Eventually, you have to stop visualizing yourself doing well on the test, and actually do the test."

"I did the best dental health poster in the class. I just hope Mr. Tooth Decay doesn't hold a grudge."

'This has been a drill. Had this been an actual test you would have been instructed...'

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

A resourceful girl, Cynthia hoped to get credit in both Earth Sciences and Culinary Arts with her ozone layer cake.

'I'm supposed to take a geography test and I can't find the right room!'

Evil Exams!

The best PE teacher in the World.

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'

"When I grow up, I don�t know whether to be a stunt amn or a train driver"

" 'How I Spent My Summer Vacation,' a treatment by Todd Mozelle, Grade Three."

Big Bang Theory.

"I've outgrown my backpack."

'An essay on what I did last summer? -- I was hoping to let all that stuff blow over.'

"Do you think that will count as our 'Fifteen minutes of fame'?"

'Yes, grammar rules do evolve over time, but making up your own to 'stay ahead of the curve' won't work in this English class!'

"Today in school we learned how to glue!"

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'