School Year Event Pillows

"Could you tell which flower was me, daddy?"

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

"I did the best dental health poster in the class. I just hope Mr. Tooth Decay doesn't hold a grudge."

Yearbook

'Smashing party, Miss - can we have another one tomorrow?'

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'

"Do you think that will count as our 'Fifteen minutes of fame'?"

Paul goes home for the holidays

'Yes, grammar rules do evolve over time, but making up your own to 'stay ahead of the curve' won't work in this English class!'

"I thought your show-and-tell was really brave."

'You must be Jimmy's father . . .'

"Today in school we learned how to glue!"

"Moses, some of the people are requesting gluten free manna."

King of Music.

Now I'll open up the floor to questions and batsh*t crazy rants.

"I'm the last to go home because my parents are still fine tuning their work-life balance."

'An actual History lesson is set for June...'

Snacks for Learners

'Don't just stand there, get into focus!'

'Oh, Christ.'

"OK, hands up who’s vegan... lactose intolerant... peanut allergies..."

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

'Trade you lunches?'

Science fair judge sees flower pot broken on floor near sign saying 'gravity'.

'Oh, we don't actually teach math any more ? we found it was too hard on the kids' self-esteem.'

'Nice going, Mom.You ate my entire insect collection. Now I'll fail biology class at school.'

'I've lost 2 pounds thanks to the new healthy school lunches. I don't eat them.'

"When do the kids go back to school?" "Oh, I don't know... 8 days, 16 hours and 47 minutes... or so."

"Hard to believe that school's almost over."