School Skirmish Strategist Gifts

'Well if you're sick of seeing me here, and I'm sick of coming in here,let's call a truce!'

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

"By reading my note, you acknowledge having read and agreed to my Privacy Policy and Terms of Use."

'Not just my homework - The dog chewed up my whole LAPTOP!'

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

"Tonight we dine with the devil. But tomorrow we really need to finish what's left in the fridge."

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

'Can I hand in my report tomorrow. Ms. D'Amato? I haven't finished reading the book. I've been too busy coloring it.'

"Hail, Caesar! The barbarians have been beaten back, and Rome is still Numero Uno."

I rule by fear.

'It wouldn't be right if I did your homework for you!' 'At least you could try!'

"What I miss during school holidays is not going out on strike every Friday."

"We were running late, so my mom faxed me to school."

"All right, what's it going to take to make this homework go away?"

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

'My kingdom for a horse! Are you nuts? How about high yielding mutual funds?'

'First she called my mother, and then she called Santa.'

'You're being evacuated to a better catchment area.'

'Stewart, why is the handwriting on your mom's last two attendance notes different?'

'That's the bell for round two.'

2000 words was tough, but doable. Billy would play the picture paints a 1000 words card, twice!

"Oh stop it. You know perfectly well that before every battle the enemy shouts things at us that we may find offensive."

'I don't know what made Ms. Doan think I was running in the hall.'

"Mom, no more apples for teacher. It looks like bribery."

'I don't have a dog, but I do have a dog app that eats my homework.'

'Look out, it's a double edged sword. . .'

'So, you see, Dad, if we compare our overall school performance, I'm actually doing better than you did at my age.'

"Homework is work, and work without breaks is a federal offense that can be reported to the labor board."

Kid sheltering from rain inside a vault box.

'You're just lazy! -- Don't give me that 'metal fatigue' stuff!'