School Scene Sage Gifts

'Any other counter-terrorism experience besides driving a junior high school bus?'

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"If wisdom comes with age, what are we doing here at eight and a half?"

"William Blake said you can see the whole world in a grain of sand, but he doesn't always make a lot of sense."

"I got all 'Cs', but I call that an 'A' report card...'A' for 'Average.'"

"You said mindfulness could help us do well on the test, so I filled it up with as much as I could last night."

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

'My teacher said the school has tough new standards and I need to improve my vocabulary. What's 'vocabulary'?'

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

"Is there a dramaturge in the house?"

'I work at a school's Lost Property Office: I track down the owners of lost items...'

"I got my emotional baggage down to a little carry-on."

Smirking or Non-smirking

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

"Rough year?" (2021 new year baby asking 2020 old year man)

"For the next few hours, I'll be bringing you info with no tainment."

"A million monkeys typing for a million years might come up with Hamlet, but they could never direct it."

'Sorry I'm late, miss. My alarm clock overslept.'

'Wh-h-hatz-u-upp, dude?'

The past only looks good when you're living in the present.

"When I said to fight back, I didn't realize the school bully you were referring to was the principal!"

'Forget the test Mrs. Winslow. Let's send out for pizza!'

'Don't trust people Billy, they'll only hurt you.'

'Let's play school. I'll be the principal and you be the teacher, or you be the principal and I'll be the superintendent.'

'That mantra you gave me is politically incorrect!'

"Dad, I misbehaved at school again, so my teacher sent me home with a bill for her therapy."

'You're consuming way too much sodium. Read the story of Lot's wife, and come back next week.'

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single status update."

The first day of school is always filled with crazy emotions. Joy and trauma. Triumph and failure. Frustration and disappointment. And that's just dealing with my cruddy new locker.

The Guru.