School Sagas Gifts

Smirking or Non-smirking

'From six to to eighteen, they're always at that age.'

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

"If wisdom comes with age, what are we doing here at eight and a half?"

'Second grade. When did you discover 'LMNOP' wasn't one letter?'

Volcano Sacrifice Competition

"I take it you got the lead in the school play."

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

Curse or not, Dave had to pass this exam.

'I think my teacher has a crush on me. She's holding me back for another year.'

'My teacher said the school has tough new standards and I need to improve my vocabulary. What's 'vocabulary'?'

'I play an evolving character, In the second act, I'm a piece of pie,'

'I took her to register in kindergarten, and they wanted a damage deposit.'

'I don't want to be a shepherd. I want to be the policeman who interrupts the play to tell all the mummys and daddys who have parked irresponsibly and dangerously outside to move their cars...'

"First let me say that your father and I really, really wanted to like your performance."

'Billy Green you know very well that you stand this end!'

Graham really wanted to play Joseph, but deep down he knew what part he'd get again.

Angry Joseph in school nativity play says to Innkeeper: 'No, we did not book online.'

'Don't I even get to enter a plea?'

"We've unleashed your child's potential—this is as good as it's going to get."

'Sorry I'm late -- the Principal held me for questioning.'

'This note from your teacher says you're doing great for a six year old. Doesn't she know you're fifteen?'

"When I said to fight back, I didn't realize the school bully you were referring to was the principal!"

'Before I begin today's lesson, please turn off your cell phones, beepers and ipods.'

'I did have an eventful day at school, but nothing, in my opinion, to write home about.'

'I do know the capital of France. It's the letter 'F'!'

"Could you tell which flower was me, daddy?"

'Thomas won't stay off the stage. He loves his part in the school play - he's the commercial.'

Teacher to parents: 'Ah - you're right. What do I know about kids? My biological clock went coo-coo years ago.'

"I don’t have any lines, but I do some pretty important rustling in the second act."

'Any other counter-terrorism experience besides driving a junior high school bus?'

King Marke of Cornwall

'Let's play school. I'll be the principal and you be the teacher, or you be the principal and I'll be the superintendent.'