School Sagas Prints

Smirking or Non-smirking

'From six to to eighteen, they're always at that age.'

"If wisdom comes with age, what are we doing here at eight and a half?"

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

'Second grade. When did you discover 'LMNOP' wasn't one letter?'

Volcano Sacrifice Competition

"I take it you got the lead in the school play."

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

'I think my teacher has a crush on me. She's holding me back for another year.'

Curse or not, Dave had to pass this exam.

'My teacher said the school has tough new standards and I need to improve my vocabulary. What's 'vocabulary'?'

'I play an evolving character, In the second act, I'm a piece of pie,'

'I took her to register in kindergarten, and they wanted a damage deposit.'

'I don't want to be a shepherd. I want to be the policeman who interrupts the play to tell all the mummys and daddys who have parked irresponsibly and dangerously outside to move their cars...'

"First let me say that your father and I really, really wanted to like your performance."

'Billy Green you know very well that you stand this end!'

Have you ever sued anyone for slander or libel, Randy? Indeed I have, little buddy. It was 1979. Francis Melba stood up in the middle of the cafeteria and accused me - in front of all the other kids - of being "nothing special." So I stood atop my table, ripped my shirt in two, slowly smoothed out my mustache, and then proceeded to flex my pecs, one at a time. HOJ. The sunlight streaming in through the windows scattered off my bouncing pecs like a disco ball. That's when Melba knew he was toast.

Graham really wanted to play Joseph, but deep down he knew what part he'd get again.

Angry Joseph in school nativity play says to Innkeeper: 'No, we did not book online.'

'Don't I even get to enter a plea?'

'Sorry I'm late -- the Principal held me for questioning.'

"We've unleashed your child's potential—this is as good as it's going to get."

The children who can't handle dialog will play trees and bushes. They'll be scenery and not heard!

'Before I begin today's lesson, please turn off your cell phones, beepers and ipods.'

"Why so gloomy, Olaf"

'This note from your teacher says you're doing great for a six year old. Doesn't she know you're fifteen?'

Teacher to parents: 'Ah - you're right. What do I know about kids? My biological clock went coo-coo years ago.'

'I did have an eventful day at school, but nothing, in my opinion, to write home about.'

"Could you tell which flower was me, daddy?"

'Thomas won't stay off the stage. He loves his part in the school play - he's the commercial.'

"I don’t have any lines, but I do some pretty important rustling in the second act."

'I do know the capital of France. It's the letter 'F'!'

"When I said to fight back, I didn't realize the school bully you were referring to was the principal!"

'Any other counter-terrorism experience besides driving a junior high school bus?'

King Marke of Cornwall