School Open House Gifts

'Do you feel as foolish as I do, having a conference with Billy's teaching machine?'

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

Yearbook

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

'Smashing party, Miss - can we have another one tomorrow?'

Face painting by numbers.

Paul goes home for the holidays

"It's a mobile."

"So, Sandra, what can you tell us about your lovely mood board?"

'You must be Jimmy's father . . .'

The Re-Opening of Schools

"Moses, some of the people are requesting gluten free manna."

King of Music.

Now I'll open up the floor to questions and batsh*t crazy rants.

Child writes letter to Santa reading 'Sorry Santa, I DO want to go to school'.

'LOVELY school. But where's the library?' 'What's a library?'

Start of school year in Cuba 1

"Nice to have you all back at school, tap-tap, there are lessons to learn."

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

Science fair judge sees flower pot broken on floor near sign saying 'gravity'.

"Dad, you don't understand...I can't get my hair cut just anywhere! This is for school pictures! My hair needs to be perfect!"

Social distancing

"When do the kids go back to school?" "Oh, I don't know... 8 days, 16 hours and 47 minutes... or so."

"Mr. Wickers called me 'gifted' in front of the whole class. I'm ruined."

"Eee sir! I'd completely forgotten that you've got legs!"!

Prom Theme: Coronavirus

Giant cat at school open night.

"At last...after so many missed days...so many cruel days apart...we are together once again!"

'An egg and spoon race! That's horrible!'