School Open House Gifts

'Do you feel as foolish as I do, having a conference with Billy's teaching machine?'

'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

Yearbook

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

'Smashing party, Miss - can we have another one tomorrow?'

Face painting by numbers.

Paul goes home for the holidays

"It's a mobile."

"So, Sandra, what can you tell us about your lovely mood board?"

"Moses, some of the people are requesting gluten free manna."

The Re-Opening of Schools

Tidy it up for the open house, and it wouldn't hurt to put out some freshly regurgitated worms. For sale.

'You must be Jimmy's father . . .'

Child writes letter to Santa reading 'Sorry Santa, I DO want to go to school'.

King of Music.

Now I'll open up the floor to questions and batsh*t crazy rants.

'LOVELY school. But where's the library?' 'What's a library?'

Start of school year in Cuba 1

For our eco-night entertainment we have Kim's "Dance Against Global Warming," Zahir's "Rap for the Eco Cure" and Twig's "Post-Carbon Poetry Slam." How about you, Jason? I'll explain metal organic vapor deposition in solar panels. Well! We'll see who's into heavy metal.

"Nice to have you all back at school, tap-tap, there are lessons to learn."

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

Our eco-prom theme is "Jungle Paradise." Decorations will be live plants. I see where this is leading. Can you bring in trees and bushes for the night? Sure. But

Science fair judge sees flower pot broken on floor near sign saying 'gravity'.

Why does every kid want the wallet size? School picture, early days.

"Dad, you don't understand...I can't get my hair cut just anywhere! This is for school pictures! My hair needs to be perfect!"

Social distancing

"When do the kids go back to school?" "Oh, I don't know... 8 days, 16 hours and 47 minutes... or so."

"Mr. Wickers called me 'gifted' in front of the whole class. I'm ruined."

"Eee sir! I'd completely forgotten that you've got legs!"!

Prom Theme: Coronavirus

"At last...after so many missed days...so many cruel days apart...we are together once again!"

Giant cat at school open night.

'An egg and spoon race! That's horrible!'