Open House Enthusiast Gifts

'Is this the open house?'

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"I didn't spark joy."

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."

A man is living in small box apartment trying to read a book, but is surrounded by people engaging in noisy activities.

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

Travellers with a developer: 'I see ski slopes.'

The stages of gentrification: a guide

"A home recently sold in my neighborhood."

Of course, the rent on the fourth floor is considerably higher.

Tidy it up for the open house, and it wouldn't hurt to put out some freshly regurgitated worms. For sale.

Once again overbudget and past dealine, the predatory boa constractor adroitly squeezes the life from its victim's wallet.

Somewhere in France: "I thought I was buying goat cheese. I endedup with a chateau in the Loire."

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

Do you like to talk about Real Estate? Like to meet other men and women who do? Dial the... REAL-ESTATE HOTLINE

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

'For Sale by Neighbor'

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

A large bird house with many compartments; one is labeled "Sup't.".

One tends to the sick. The other manages a large estate. Interestingly, a caregiver and a caretaker are not on opposite sides of an interaction.

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

Real Estate Personals

"At last we own our own apartment. I feel like a king."

You dope! Why would you build our home right next to a power plant?

Estate Agent - This house that's 'just what we are looking for' is ours

Emigrating to France.

'I told my wife to run the house like a business. So she sold it to an American corporation.'

"I couldn't keep up the payments."

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

'Commerical real estates' man excited by peak in sleeping 'Rental rates' monitor

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

America's funniest investment scams

'This condo is the height of luxury, The sprinkler system sprays Perrier,'