House Viewing Enthusiast Gifts

"They do say it's a real sun trap in the late afternoon.."

'I'm retiring soon and looking for something more comfortable...like a loafer.'

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

Do you like to talk about Real Estate? Like to meet other men and women who do? Dial the... REAL-ESTATE HOTLINE

You dope! Why would you build our home right next to a power plant?

"Today on Escape to the Country Emily & Oliver are looking for that special little property in the Cotswolds. So what exactly's going to tick all their boxes?"

Real Estate Personals

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

Inventor of the Tudor spirit-level

'Now from this room you can get a great view of the whales going by!'

'Now, it does require some modernisation. . . .'

'It's a new concept, the inside out house.'

"It's like a tiny house, but bigger."

"No dear- I said I was going to buy you a big PROPER TEA!"

'They're playing house.'

'I think you'll all rest easy knowing this is a gated community!'

UP Again: Housing Prices.

New Homes

Man with head in ground: 'I'm not burying my head in the sand, I'm doing the coal mining search myself.'

They're nice, but they lack the charm of an older home

Turtle Eviction

"You're going to love the 360 degree views with this one."

"It's really too much house for us, but Fran and I plan to live in the walk-in closet and rent the rest."

Man in house with no roof on phone to estate agent: "Look, this house is unfinished. Please stop saying, 'It gets a lot of light'."

"It's perfect."

"Is it me or is this mini home trend getting out of control?"

Whatever you're thinking of buying, we promise to make you feel slightly inferior.

'For sale'

The Movers Strip - Selling houses over the internet

'Denson, I want this view moving so that we can see it from the West wing.'

"We love the view. It helps to remind us that we're part of a larger community."

'We're being foreclosed on. We're going to have to relocate to a loafer.'

Thanks for house sitting!

"I'll confess, the first time I realized they didn't have any panes it gave me quite a turn!"

'Is this the open house?'