House Viewings Gifts

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

"Homes on Holmes"

"A little baking soda will get rid of the smell.

Real Estate Personals

"Yes, Madame, Teletubbies."

'Now from this room you can get a great view of the whales going by!'

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

"It's like a tiny house, but bigger."

"In this piece, the price clearly does not reflect what the artist is trying to say."

'They're playing house.'

'Don't worry. The first 30 years of being an inspector are the hardest.'

'It's like having our own private luxury box in the game of life.'

"You see a haunted house, I see a house with good bones."

'When did we lose our targeted audience status?'

'I think you'll all rest easy knowing this is a gated community!'

Tracey Emin - Private view.

UP Again: Housing Prices.

House for sale, appliances included (in the yard).

"To be honest, we were thinking of something like a Cape Cod."

"Admittedly, it is a bit of a 'fixer upper'."

New Homes

'Yes, there is a bidding war - but I'm almost certain you aren't allowed to take prisoners.'

"It has tremendous possibilities."

Turtle Eviction

Yes. This is definitely a house. The Housing Authority closes another tough case.

"This house comes with smart windows. They automatically open when my husband takes his shoes off."

Godfrey Hunting for Lodgings

'Oh, look, honey - the master closet has a walk-in bedroom!'

"Did I mention it needed a little work?"

"You're going to love the 360 degree views with this one."

"Grandma is included in the purchase price."

'He really captured her in this one.'