House Viewing Gifts

"This place, like the last one, has one big window that's also a door."

"This is all I could find in your price range - but it has a lot of natural light."

"One question: Do the windows open?"

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

"I can tell it's new because it's alive."

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

Real Estate Personals

'Now from this room you can get a great view of the whales going by!'

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

"It's like a tiny house, but bigger."

"In this piece, the price clearly does not reflect what the artist is trying to say."

'They're playing house.'

'It's like having our own private luxury box in the game of life.'

'Don't worry. The first 30 years of being an inspector are the hardest.'

Although in hindsight, maybe she said feed the cat and water the plants.

"You see a haunted house, I see a house with good bones."

'I think you'll all rest easy knowing this is a gated community!'

'When did we lose our targeted audience status?'

Tracey Emin - Private view.

UP Again: Housing Prices.

New Homes

"Admittedly, it is a bit of a 'fixer upper'."

'To me a re-run is only something I've already seen this morning.'

'Yes, there is a bidding war - but I'm almost certain you aren't allowed to take prisoners.'

Turtle Eviction

"It has tremendous possibilities."

'Oh, look, honey - the master closet has a walk-in bedroom!'

"You're going to love the 360 degree views with this one."

"It's all about the freezer storage space for Vinny."

Yes. This is definitely a house. The Housing Authority closes another tough case.

"Grandma is included in the purchase price."

"This house comes with smart windows. They automatically open when my husband takes his shoes off."

"Did I mention it needed a little work?"

'Now you behave yourself and don't throw and infestation while we're gone.'