School Night Skeptics Gifts

'It's so cruel the way they break it to you, Not, 'school starts tomorrow', but 'tonight's a school night','

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

'How to time the market' seminar - 2pm, postponed to 3pm, then to 4pm.

'You must be Jimmy's father . . .'

"If your dad is truly the King of the Jungle, why can't you ask him to abolish school?"

'You're FLUNKING me? - Doesn't SENIORITY count for anything around here?'

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

"If you get to be a stay-at-home dad, why can't I be a stay-at-home daughter?"

'Who should be contacted in case of an accident? Why, 911, of course. And these people are going to be teaching my children.'

"Personally, this child would love to be 'left behind.'"

Welcome. National Association of People Padding their Resumes with National Associations. And I think you'll agree, our pointless seminars have some really great titles this year!

"What's the point of school? We can just look all this stuff up on wikipedia."

"Can't you just look at the pictures,daddy? Some of us have to get up for school in the morning!"

TV Repair 101.

"Did you notice the smirk on his face when he said 'enjoy'?"

"Enjoy my first day at school? You mean there'll be others?"

Parent/Teacher conjugation

'What part of school don't you understand?', 'The part between the bells ringing.'

"Oh, great—here comes that crazy #@!*%! Jeff who won't shut up about conspiracy theories. How's my hair look?"

Quiz Today. I don't remember clicking of any terms of agreement that cover this!

"My teacher says I lack 'intellectual curiosity,' whatever that is."

'Oh, I just knew that darned obedience school was a mistake!'

"Spaghetti made from squash? Sounds like fake news."

'Do you mind if I call my parole officer?'

'You don't really want to go to this party, do you?'

"No you can't take Timmy howling at the moon tonight: It's a school-night!"

Fish "I hate going back to school"

"SUch stupid answers on this assignment! You should have helped him a little!"

"What did I learn in school today? - Frankly, Mom, you're better off not knowing."

REPORT CARD, 'Maybe it got garbled in transmission.'

Instead of caps and gowns, night school graduates have to wear nightcaps and nightgowns.

I hate autumn!

"Do you have to believe everything a teacher, Principal and Superintendent tell you?"

'Okay, so I failed all the tests and never handed in an assignment. So what's your point?'

"Ahh! You must be little David's father."