School Night Gifts

"No you can't take Timmy howling at the moon tonight: It's a school-night!"

"Can't you just look at the pictures,daddy? Some of us have to get up for school in the morning!"

'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

Yearbook

'Smashing party, Miss - can we have another one tomorrow?'

Before the Internet

E-Baying @ The Moon

Paul goes home for the holidays

'I'm looking forward to parents' night. I'm going to ask these people their diet secrets.'

'You must be Jimmy's father . . .'

In addition to brilliant grades and perfect SATs � Parents' night. College admissions. Your child should excel at 3 sports and lead a school extra-curricular like the newspaper. Don't the arts count? Sure! If your child sings, for example � A part on 'Glee' or in the Metropolitan Opera would certainly help. Our kids are doomed.

I drive, therefore I am.

'Three kids, full-time job, night classes and coaches a girls basketball team. She's stretched a little thin.'

Now I'll open up the floor to questions and batsh*t crazy rants.

King of Music.

Parent Involvement Tip #1

For our eco-night entertainment we have Kim's "Dance Against Global Warming," Zahir's "Rap for the Eco Cure" and Twig's "Post-Carbon Poetry Slam." How about you, Jason? I'll explain metal organic vapor deposition in solar panels. Well! We'll see who's into heavy metal.

City centre pub.

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

'Just doing the school run.'

Science fair judge sees flower pot broken on floor near sign saying 'gravity'.

Our eco-prom theme is "Jungle Paradise." Decorations will be live plants. I see where this is leading. Can you bring in trees and bushes for the night? Sure. But

"I'd like my son seated in the first row."

"When do the kids go back to school?" "Oh, I don't know... 8 days, 16 hours and 47 minutes... or so."

'I hope he didn't write the menu.' (Pub quizzers comment on poor grammar)

"Let's have refreshments on parents' night. These people need nourishment."

Prom Theme: Coronavirus

TV Repair 101.

"No conifering, please."

'Cheese.' - 'Cheese.' - 'Cheese.' - 'Cheese.' - 'Mum. Can I have something different in my sandwiches tomorrow?' - 'Okay.' - 'Cheese and pickle.' -

"At last...after so many missed days...so many cruel days apart...we are together once again!"

Giant cat at school open night.

"Very effective talk on the power of non-verbal communication."

What?! No way are we pushing for a green prom. Eco-club. Do we have to take the fun out of everything? People will totally embrace it if we frame it in the right way. Like? Saving energy by turning the lights down really low! Or using fewer chaperones. I can deal!