Night School Gifts

TV Repair 101.

Instead of caps and gowns, night school graduates have to wear nightcaps and nightgowns.

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

Computer Room.

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

'The creative process works best with a relaxed brain, so I'm letting my mind wander to let a solution drift in.'

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

I will study my speling words...

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

Boy and girl at thier studies

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

"I'll bet all of Albert Einstein's teachers felt like idiots for giving him bad grades too."

Happy kids running abount with a 'Schools out' banner

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

'The school bus drove off without me. The driver said she couldn't allow one more peanut butter sandwich on her bus.'

"Well, look at the bright side, Timmy — you're 100 percent wrong."

"Three more years of high school."

"Could I ask just one question?"

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

'I really crammed last night.'

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

'Court's in recess!'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'