School Memories Appreciator Gifts

"I would like to read my essay about what I did over vacation, but I can't because that information is classified and cannot be revealed for reasons of national security."

I'm not substitute teaching after all. How come? They wanted a criminal background check! I was a principal for 15 years. They know me! Yes, but

"Now, my brave little soldier, do you have everything...an apple for your teacher, your satchel, pencils and books - your existential misery??"

"I wish I'd failed my 11 Plus too...."

I used to have nightmares about forgetting my locker combination. In their nightmares, they forget passwords!

"... And since then, I've been quietly stalking you."

"My parents taught me stuff until I was six, and then they outsourced me to Central Elementary."

"Math would have been a 'A' if you factor in the fudge factor. I got caught fudging on the final."

"I didn't think you'd make it through biology."

'Of course I remember you-Tomkins,the Peter Pan of the Lower 4th!'

"I've been able to pay attention a lot more in class since the teacher separated us."

"The trouble with children is they don't act like adults."

"Next week si my parent & teacher, principal, guidance counselor, crossing guard, bus driver and lunch lady conference. Is that bad?"

'Forget the test Mrs. Winslow. Let's send out for pizza!'

"I'm old school. Pass me a handwritten note."

"Hey look! It's my old, school uniform"

'Please turn it down - Daddy's trying to do your homework.'

'Whoa! We sure blew that prediction!'

'Naughty or nice? My lawyer will answer that.'

'I've sussed this work/life balance...'

"Johnny, strikes out, and will be thinking about this well into his thirties."

"Yeah, I get the same thing. Walked four miles to school in the snow....I guess there weren't any cars of busses when our parents were our age!"

'I'll take Tommy Peters to cry first, for a nickel.'

Remember last Friday when that substitute teacher showed us movies all day...THOSE were the good old days!

"Whew, am I glad there are more boys than girls in this class!"

At the Class of 1980 shape reunion - 'OMG, look at the old square Doris ended up with!'

Class Reunion. Remember when we all used to be the same age?

"I always look so old in these photos."

"If Smithers doesn't hurry, we'll have a right royal accident."

'Don't let her charm you. When we were in the lunch room, I saw her eating veggies.'

"Look what Sylvia Sanchez wrote in my yearbook! I didn't know I was so special to her!"

'Of course I remember you. Potkins the Peter Pan of the Lower Fourth.'

'I went to school with Mary today: Boy that was fun!!'

'My Grandmother made them. The specks are liver spots.'

'Ah! Flavoured dehydrogenated non-milk fat solids with a soupcon of deoxydropesane and asparteme, it really takes me back to my schooldays.'