School Days Reminiscencer Gifts

"... And since then, I've been quietly stalking you."

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

"Teacher! What happens if we don't turn in our homework on time?"

"What can I say? Second grade just hasn't lived up to the hype."

'I tell you, dad, Miss Hamilton is a witch!'

I'm not substitute teaching after all. How come? They wanted a criminal background check! I was a principal for 15 years. They know me! Yes, but

"Now, my brave little soldier, do you have everything...an apple for your teacher, your satchel, pencils and books - your existential misery??"

"Boeing! - In my office, now!"

Why does every kid want the wallet size? School picture, early days.

Do Not Pass. Just like high school.

"I wish I'd failed my 11 Plus too...."

"Okay, there's one thing I like about school starting. I have a girlfriend this year."

"...and smoking is forbidden behind the scooter shed"

Though a sentiment not shared by his classmates, Harry had come to dread the periodical 'bathroom break'.

Naughty schoolboys fight behind teacher's back in old fashioned school.

"She gave everyone in class a Valentine. It doesn't mean she likes you!"

"My parents taught me stuff until I was six, and then they outsourced me to Central Elementary."

"I can never remember whether children are to be seen and not heard or the other way around."

I used to have nightmares about forgetting my locker combination. In their nightmares, they forget passwords!

Teacher to other about hot dog vendor: 'Since when have we allowed that dude in the building?'

"What are you writing?"

"I didn't think you'd make it through biology."

'Of course I remember you-Tomkins,the Peter Pan of the Lower 4th!'

"I've been able to pay attention a lot more in class since the teacher separated us."

"Is it okay if I dissect this ham sandwich?"

'Teachers' Dreams.' 'Young man, either you remove your hand from under her sweater or I will remove it your arm.'

Boys at Leisure

'Trade you my Doggie Cola for tour Toilet Water Drink Box.'

"Next week si my parent & teacher, principal, guidance counselor, crossing guard, bus driver and lunch lady conference. Is that bad?"

Sent to the corner on school sports day.

"You've really blotted your copy book this time Higgins!"

"You don't bring me apples anymore."

'I hate to quit school, Mrs. Wiggins, but I got a better offer.'

'Please turn it down - Daddy's trying to do your homework.'