School Reminiscer Gifts

'Don't let her charm you. When we were in the lunch room, I saw her eating veggies.'

"School is a lot like life. It's hours and hours of boredom...interrupted by the occasional moment of panic."

I'm not substitute teaching after all. How come? They wanted a criminal background check! I was a principal for 15 years. They know me! Yes, but

"Now, my brave little soldier, do you have everything...an apple for your teacher, your satchel, pencils and books - your existential misery??"

Do Not Pass. Just like high school.

"I wish I'd failed my 11 Plus too...."

"...and smoking is forbidden behind the scooter shed"

"Okay, there's one thing I like about school starting. I have a girlfriend this year."

Naughty schoolboys fight behind teacher's back in old fashioned school.

Teacher to other about hot dog vendor: 'Since when have we allowed that dude in the building?'

"... And since then, I've been quietly stalking you."

I used to have nightmares about forgetting my locker combination. In their nightmares, they forget passwords!

"My parents taught me stuff until I was six, and then they outsourced me to Central Elementary."

"I can never remember whether children are to be seen and not heard or the other way around."

"I didn't think you'd make it through biology."

Boys at Leisure

Paper Bombs

'Of course I remember you-Tomkins,the Peter Pan of the Lower 4th!'

"Is it okay if I dissect this ham sandwich?"

"I've been able to pay attention a lot more in class since the teacher separated us."

'The little punks were waving a red flag at me! In my youth, I would have given them a run for their money!'

"Next week si my parent & teacher, principal, guidance counselor, crossing guard, bus driver and lunch lady conference. Is that bad?"

"You don't bring me apples anymore."

"Enjoy your youth. Soon you'll be an old cynic like me with nothing worth barking at."

"I'm old school. Pass me a handwritten note."

'I hate to quit school, Mrs. Wiggins, but I got a better offer.'

"When I was a child I spoke as a child... but when I became a man I put away childish things... except for my Cocoa Puffs... I still love Cocoa Puffs."

Ned thinks back to his youth.

'Please turn it down - Daddy's trying to do your homework.'

'Whoa! We sure blew that prediction!'

"I'm starting to think being class clown was a bad career move."

'I like my history teacher. He's kind of old and I think he lived through much of the history he's teaching.'

At the Class of 1980 shape reunion - 'OMG, look at the old square Doris ended up with!'

"So, according to law, we're basically hostages till we're 18."

"Yeah, I get the same thing. Walked four miles to school in the snow....I guess there weren't any cars of busses when our parents were our age!"