School Reminiscer Gifts

'Don't let her charm you. When we were in the lunch room, I saw her eating veggies.'

"School is a lot like life. It's hours and hours of boredom...interrupted by the occasional moment of panic."

"I wish I'd failed my 11 Plus too...."

"...and smoking is forbidden behind the scooter shed"

"Okay, there's one thing I like about school starting. I have a girlfriend this year."

Naughty schoolboys fight behind teacher's back in old fashioned school.

Teacher to other about hot dog vendor: 'Since when have we allowed that dude in the building?'

"I can never remember whether children are to be seen and not heard or the other way around."

"... And since then, I've been quietly stalking you."

"My parents taught me stuff until I was six, and then they outsourced me to Central Elementary."

"I didn't think you'd make it through biology."

Boys at Leisure

"I've been able to pay attention a lot more in class since the teacher separated us."

"Is it okay if I dissect this ham sandwich?"

Paper Bombs

"Next week si my parent & teacher, principal, guidance counselor, crossing guard, bus driver and lunch lady conference. Is that bad?"

'The little punks were waving a red flag at me! In my youth, I would have given them a run for their money!'

"When I was a child I spoke as a child... but when I became a man I put away childish things... except for my Cocoa Puffs... I still love Cocoa Puffs."

Ned thinks back to his youth.

'I hate to quit school, Mrs. Wiggins, but I got a better offer.'

"You don't bring me apples anymore."

"I'm old school. Pass me a handwritten note."

"Enjoy your youth. Soon you'll be an old cynic like me with nothing worth barking at."

'Please turn it down - Daddy's trying to do your homework.'

'Whoa! We sure blew that prediction!'

"I'm starting to think being class clown was a bad career move."

'I like my history teacher. He's kind of old and I think he lived through much of the history he's teaching.'

At the Class of 1980 shape reunion - 'OMG, look at the old square Doris ended up with!'

"Yeah, I get the same thing. Walked four miles to school in the snow....I guess there weren't any cars of busses when our parents were our age!"

"So, according to law, we're basically hostages till we're 18."

Remember last Friday when that substitute teacher showed us movies all day...THOSE were the good old days!

"You might fake an illness at home, but here, only a fever makes her a believer."