School Days Nostalgist Gifts

"What are you writing?"

Caution. Father could explode at any moment!

Student sits under a stool with a dunce cap on it in a classroom.

'I know how you feel, little brother. I was the last one in my first grade class to be preapproved for a credit card, too.'

Boy holding dunce cap under leak in ceiling.

"Teacher! What happens if we don't turn in our homework on time?"

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

'I tell you, dad, Miss Hamilton is a witch!'

I'm not substitute teaching after all. How come? They wanted a criminal background check! I was a principal for 15 years. They know me! Yes, but

"Boeing! - In my office, now!"

"Now, my brave little soldier, do you have everything...an apple for your teacher, your satchel, pencils and books - your existential misery??"

"Back in my day, kids had a little respect for the law of gravity."

Principal: You are here, and you should be ashamed of yourself.

"I wish I'd failed my 11 Plus too...."

Do Not Pass. Just like high school.

Why does every kid want the wallet size? School picture, early days.

"...and smoking is forbidden behind the scooter shed"

"Okay, there's one thing I like about school starting. I have a girlfriend this year."

"You're actually passing notes in class? That is so retro!"

Though a sentiment not shared by his classmates, Harry had come to dread the periodical 'bathroom break'.

Naughty schoolboys fight behind teacher's back in old fashioned school.

"I can never remember whether children are to be seen and not heard or the other way around."

I used to have nightmares about forgetting my locker combination. In their nightmares, they forget passwords!

Teacher to other about hot dog vendor: 'Since when have we allowed that dude in the building?'

Bell ringer.

"She gave everyone in class a Valentine. It doesn't mean she likes you!"

'When I was your age, an 'A' did not stand for 'adequate'.'

"... And since then, I've been quietly stalking you."

"My parents taught me stuff until I was six, and then they outsourced me to Central Elementary."

"Is it okay if I dissect this ham sandwich?"

Back to School Supplies - 1928 'A new hat?!!' 2006 - 'There's more in the car.'

The boss is sending me back to school.

'Of course I remember you-Tomkins,the Peter Pan of the Lower 4th!'

'I guess my love for Miss Rogers is over...I passed third grade.'