School Humor Collector Gifts

"We can't pass him now ... he has tenure."

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

'Bert's dog training.'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

Cake Free Zone

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

A 'Falling Rock' and a 'Deer Crossing' zone.

"Eat me"

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

'I've just discovered that one of my ancestors was a Security Goose for the Roman Army...'

Man falls in water Title: 'Willis was always an overachiever.'

Easter Island Shades...

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

A watch face with Stonehenge

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

The Tale of the Tape of the Tail.

"Fantastic! Do you realize what we've just stumbled upon? It's the fabled Lost Glove Compartment of the Ancient Astronauts!"