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"We can't pass him now ... he has tenure."

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Bert's dog training.'

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

"Eat me"

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

A 'Falling Rock' and a 'Deer Crossing' zone.

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

Cake Free Zone

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

"Fantastic! Do you realize what we've just stumbled upon? It's the fabled Lost Glove Compartment of the Ancient Astronauts!"

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

'I've just discovered that one of my ancestors was a Security Goose for the Roman Army...'

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

Man falls in water Title: 'Willis was always an overachiever.'

The Tale of the Tape of the Tail.

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

A watch face with Stonehenge