School Hall Monitor Gifts

"Teachers are lucky, they don't have to do homework."

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

No caption. (Man wearing a cast is in traction. He imagines sheep lining up to jump fence. Sheep also wear casts.)

"Should we put down what we think is right, or what we think you think is right?"

"Where am I going to college? I thought this was college."

'If you are here, you'll be late for gym class."

'If your cell phone has five hundred minutes, and you use one of them during this class, how long will you be in detention?'

The new boy was teased for being different.

"I wish every teacher came with a warning label."

PTA Meeting Tonight: Parents,Teachers,Attorneys

'Could I see you after class?'

'He can call whoever he wants, she's still not parking that thing in my classroom!'

Student to other: 'I keep forgetting to return my library books on 'boomerangs' and ... what was the other one? Oh yeah, 'memory improvement'.'

'Is there something you're not telling me, Doctor?'

"I can't believe it's another day closer to the end of school. This is the saddest time of the year. At least until tomorrow...then that will be the saddest time of the year."

"I tried talking to the principal about what I’d be teaching next semester, but he kept changing the subject."

"I'm going to take your blood pressure, so try to relax and not think about what a high reading might mean for your chances of living a long, healthy life."

Banned Books

"Ms. Sims and I have known each other for quite some time, but it turns out we aren't on a first-name basis."

School photos.

Careful

'I don't get it - How can answers on a MATH TEST be politically incorrect?'

A School Girl and Teacher.

Class Rules

Teaching Then and Now

"Whew, am I glad there are more boys than girls in this class!"

"All right, Sam, but by grade three, they should definitely be able to read."

"Answer your question? You mean in real time?"

Inspector of schools

'Just as I suspected - cheating on our diet!'

'I'm afraid Miss Johnson has lost control of her class!'

'Good morning. I'm Mr Elton. Your teacher-security guard.'

The New Schools Policy In Full.

'We're no longer called 'Children', we're called 'Age Disadvantaged'!'

"Mom, can you take me to school? It takes forever when dad does."