School Hall Frequenter Gifts

Student to other: 'I keep forgetting to return my library books on 'boomerangs' and ... what was the other one? Oh yeah, 'memory improvement'.'

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

"I really love school. There's only one problem. I think not having a college degree is holding me back."

"It's Labor Day! The unofficial last day of summer!"

"But why can't I bring him to class? He's my therapy toad!"

"Finally...school starts next week."

'Before you give us your surprise test, could we have a surprise study period?'

"Get real Dad, those are LAST years colors!"

'I work at a school's Lost Property Office: I track down the owners of lost items...'

"I wish every teacher came with a warning label."

'I don't want to be a shepherd. I want to be the policeman who interrupts the play to tell all the mummys and daddys who have parked irresponsibly and dangerously outside to move their cars...'

"Watch yourself Sheriff....Looks like Billy the Kid is back in town!"

PTA Meeting Tonight: Parents,Teachers,Attorneys

'Oh, we don't actually teach math any more ? we found it was too hard on the kids' self-esteem.'

"Today in school we learned how to text our names."

"Timmy, thank you for your science report..."Yawning is Contagious.'"

"I can't believe school ends in three months! Sometimes I wish it would never end. But I guess endings make you appreciate the present."

'Are you sure I should read my book report to the class? --�It's PG-13.'

Classroom.

"I knew there'd be pitfalls when I became a teacher, but thirty to a classroom is too many."

Welcome to the lower grade concert. We will premiere an avant garde song cycle with unexpected solos, parts of melodies that may seem vaguely familiar and musicians who leave the stage for no apparent reason. Enjoy!

'Sorry I'm late, miss. My alarm clock overslept.'

"So... You must be Billy the Kid..."

"You're a very good hall monitor, Billy, but we don't detain teachers."

"Andy plays perfectly well with others - it's others who don't play well with Andy."

'I'd like to run for class president but I don't want to put my family through a background check.'

"Should we really be starting a new unit so close to summer vacation?"

'I understand the school has a policy of promoting from within, so I'd like to be considered for your job when you retire.'

'Dad...why would I ever want to get out of the first grade? I love first grade!'

'I'm going to break you like a dry twig!' 'I think not! I use moisturiser cream.'

"I love school! Today, I passed out new books...I passed out tests...I passed out homework assignments."

"Teachers are lucky, they don't have to do homework."

"I know this is third grade and you're in charge. . . but where's the oversight?"