School Funding Commentator Gifts

Smelly Sneaker.

Toy Shops and Educated Children

"I don't mind them counting the days 'til school's out, but I wish they wouldn't do it on their fingers."

'The legislation HR2109 would increase state aid to education. Ask not for whom the bell tolls. It tolls for you.'

Go to M.I.T., they said. You'll do great things, they said.

'My father says, these intelligence tests are biased towards the intelligent.'

"They make us learn reading, writing, and arithmetic to prepare us for a world of videotapes, computer terminals and calculators."

'Remind me again, Dad. Why did you want me to get that college degree?'

Cover Design for the Savoy (No. 7)- the Eternal Problem of Youth and Pedantry

'Going to school is NOT an abusive relationship!'

'Ms. Peters, hold all calls. I'm busy implementing yet another hastily conceived and unproven education innovation.'

"What did I learn in school today...I learned I don't like school!"

"Why do I have to work hard at school? I can buy a degree on the internet!"

'Dad said that experience is the best teacher, so I cut school and went to the video arcade.'

"The Feds have authorized me to leave your child behind."

"Your order is confirmed and your credit card has been charged. You have purchased one small liberal-arts college in New England. Thank you for your order."

"I'm sorry, but I'm afraid your son just isn't very smart."

"Sometimes I wish I went to a magnet school."

'This is just my part in the growing crisis in education.'

"I see you graduated Summa Cum Laude, but then didn't your whole graduating class."

'Here's my report Dad. I got an A, an S, a B and an O.'

'Lincoln Standardized Test Center - formerly Lincoln High School'

'Can we 'dumb it down' a bit, Mrs. Whipplemore?'

'The principal says her door is always open, until it slams shut when you're in there!'

Standardized Testing

I hate to do this but you know the high costs of college.

No Readmittance

GET YOUR G. E. D. 50 CENTS

"The last person you should be listening to regarding school reopening....

'My net worth? Do you mean after taxes? Or after I pay for your education?'

'You don't think you were a bit harsh on that school?'

Welcome to University of Lowered Expectations...formerly: College of Hard Knocks.

Malmesbury Nurses

'You can take a student's phone away, but you're supposed to give it back after class, not sell it on eBay.'