School Fashion Critic Gifts

"I'm not wearing that - it screams first day of school."

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

"What can I say? Second grade just hasn't lived up to the hype."

'No way Doug! You can not stick it to the man in new season, smart casual menswear!'

"That shirt is so last year."

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

'Dang, you were right! It is formal!'

"How come in these days of downsizing and lower expectations, all these sneakers come with ridiculously long laces?"

"The one time in our lives when it's acceptable to run around naked, but they dress us up like L. L. Bean catalog."

Tuck Shop

Workout clothes: 'One size fits none.'

Non-Uniform Day Today.

Pam learned the importance of browser support.

'I wasn't playing hooky -- I was fleeing the deteriorating public school system.'

"You're wearing too much rouge."

'I'm glad to see you finally pulled in sales. Nevertheless, you're fired. Here, we're dealing with socks and shoes, not with suits and shirts.'

"I hope he's wearing pants."

"Did you see that trimmed-up earlier than thou look on her face, just then?"

On the catwalk it looked elegant and sexy! What happened?

"I see we're split between those who like my new tie, and those who welcome unemployment."

"No, those people aren't anorexic. Those people are starving."

"Do these puffy pants make me look less tyrannical?"

A man with a pocket handkerchief encounters a kangaroo with a pocket handkerchief.

'He doesn't seem to like my haircut.'

'That guy is SO tacky.'

"I'm sick and tired of black."

"Would you have anything a bit...'stupider'?"

"We scarf. We bracelet. We earring. We brooch. In brief, ladies, we accessorize."

'Can you wear something quieter than those old corduroys?'

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

'Dude, you like, need to get your wallet chain in check!'

The Ravages of Time: Marky Mark, circa 2043

"I'm wearing Donna Karan."