Fashion Critic Gifts

"Actually, I'm not a New York Yankees fan. I'm a New York Yankees cap fan."

Undercover Fashion Police

Non-Uniform Day Today.

'Of course I support poor children. That's why I bought this dress, handmade by a 12-years old Indian girl that earns only 30 cents a day.'

Speedo Limit:30.

'Sure it looks bad now, but try to imagine it with the right shoes.'

"Since I'm not poor like you, I can afford to have scruples. . . I would never buy cheap clothes made with child labour."

"If she was a little skinnier she would make a great super-model."

'Faux fur? Oh, well, that's faux blood.'

"I see we're split between those who like my new tie, and those who welcome unemployment."

"And then she said, 'You're wearing that to the psychiatrist?'"

'Well, I find it intimidating. I mean, any minute they could fall down completely!'

"I see he finally got rid of that idiotic comb-over."

On the catwalk it looked elegant and sexy! What happened?

"I suppose it all started with casual Fridays."

'Good heavens, Henderson - they're wearing brown shoes!'

'I've found black to be a very slimming color.'

'The only thing worse than this sensitivity training course is that tie of yours.'

'Never discuss politics with your hairdresser.'

'You would never catch ME wearing white after labor day.'

As ever it was impossible to avoid the unsightliness of the vested interests.

"That's what I call coastal pollution."

"Nobody told me it was formal."

"What?"

'And if a plane crash isn't horrible enough... being on TV worldwide, dead and wearing such an ugly dress...'

"No, those people aren't anorexic. Those people are starving."

"It was insured for everything except coolness depreciation. Two years old and apparently it's a write-off."

"That style dates you terribly !"

Woman in a fur coat being booed by leopards.

'Yo dude, what's up? Geez, where did you get that butt-ugly tie from? By the way, I'm here to learn about empathy and diplomacy, man!'

"OK, I'll learn to walk, but just so I can boycott Ivanka's shoes."

"The suspect was described as wearing totally pedestrian bluejeans, an indifferent gray sweatshirt, and a trucker's cap, without the slightest sense of irony."

'Speeding, yukky car color, lousy haircut, ugly necktie...'

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Sweat-pants make you fat.'

Hairdos and HAIRDON'TS!!