School Conflict Humorist Gifts

'My teacher and I have irrenconcilable differences.'

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

What do MD and PHD mean? It means the doctor owes a lot of money in student loans.

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

"Here's to non-electric sharpeners."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

"I sincerely hope you learned a lesson this time, Mark. Drawing cartoons on your homework will get you nowhere in life."

'It's basically a good master's thesis, but the word you want is 'serfs,' not 'smurfs.''

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

'I have answers to the kind of questions no one likes to ask.'

Monitor lizard becomes milk monitor.

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

'School was really exciting today -- they busted up a meth lab in chemistry class.'

"I think the teacher who says that I got into trouble today is part of the fake news conspiracy."

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

"I DO have a note from my doctor...but nobody can read it!"

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

'I hate counting sheep. I get enough math at school.'

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

"... And don't come back until you're ready to get funny."

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"