Conflict Humorist Gifts

'Want to have a snow ball battle?'

'Man...You age great!'

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

"It wasn't a farming accident. She just bit my head off again."

"First you leave me in the waiting room for two hours before I can see you... then you tell me I've got to watch my blood pressure!"

"Most people would jump at an opportunity like this."

What? I had to fire our flare gun at him before he fired his flare gun at us!

Golf war: 'Fore!'

"Not to quibble, Helen, but if you look up 'Pathetic Loser' in the dictionary I don't believe anyone's picture is there."

"... and don't forget to clean out the garage and attic... and the gutters need to be..." "Put a sock in it, Sally. You knew I wasn't an eager beaver when you married me."

'How'd the negotiations go? Take a wild guess.'

The Occupy a Barstool Movement.

'Why do you always get to be the tanks?'

Two friars ringing bells

"He wants the cat for his next trick. I'd be real careful about this, Eileen."

'Do you notice when it's forty below, people quit kicking the oil companies?'

worrying letters

Opera Pickleball

"Sometimes I think you guys don't want peace."

Rebels without a magic marker

Lactose is Good. Lactose intolerance isn't something you protest against, Ernie.

The Slumber Party.

Police taking pizzas from crashed pizza delivery bike.

'Knee him in the groin - it always works.'

Hit Or Missler Gun

Welcome to Family Day Open House 1st Armoured Division: 'Careful you don't break anything.'

Toilet Roll Drop

On Strike

'Look at them both arguing about the race: Adults are so competitive...'

'When he said he loved going to Wendy's, I just assumed fast food...'

Waiter, who are those protesters outside? They're from "PETFS": People for the Ethical Treatment of Flies in Soup.

'At least I've got two weeks leave in Peckham to look forward to.'

Mayhem, Inc. Part 19

'Which service do you require, sir - Fire, Police, Ambulance or Bank-rescue?'

Errands: the Magazine for the Errands Life Style