Conflict Comedians Gifts

"Sometimes I think you guys don't want peace."

"Ready!... Aim!..." Democrats

War 2023

"An Iraq attack is one thing, but I'm not sure about a Persian incursion."

"Okay, ha ha, now seriously...Where's the rest of the nuts?"

"Great news, things are looking up in Iraq!"

"Three more classes and I get my belt."

'You're so illogical. I can never win an argument with you.'

Toy Soldiers - Toy Human Shield

"Not to quibble, Helen, but if you look up 'Pathetic Loser' in the dictionary I don't believe anyone's picture is there."

Minnesota Weather.

"Hold on, I'll make that coffee to go!"

'How'd the negotiations go? Take a wild guess.'

Ukraine Crisis

"This is a much better war then the war to end all wars."

'Want to have a snow ball battle?'

'Did you ever realize that we're really drinking coffee out of large sippy cups?'

'You need to say more about the war than just 'oops'.'

Banana Midlife Crisis

Police taking pizzas from crashed pizza delivery bike.

'Weren't they the ones who had wished for world peace?'

"Being vague and general?" "No, that's the first law of psychics, I want the law of phsics."

Peace Under Siege

"Do you have anything fit for a King?"

'Knee him in the groin - it always works.'

"I had a bad review, so I'm only a 3-1/2 star general."

The peace process.

"I love the smell of unmitigated quagmire in the morning."

"Thank heavens I saved my teddy bear... he brings me good luck."

"Armageddon-hotline, please select your current fer from our menu. . ."

Mercenary

'At least I've got two weeks leave in Peckham to look forward to.'