Conflict Comedy Gifts

'Norman, I think things are going to turn nasty!'

'When he said he loved going to Wendy's, I just assumed fast food...'

British savings accounts

Japanese woman in minimalist house reads 'How to Clutter Your Life'

"It wasn't a farming accident. She just bit my head off again."

"Three more classes and I get my belt."

What? I had to fire our flare gun at him before he fired his flare gun at us!

'You're so illogical. I can never win an argument with you.'

'I wasn't expecting this when they said they wanted to settle out of court!!'

"Not to quibble, Helen, but if you look up 'Pathetic Loser' in the dictionary I don't believe anyone's picture is there."

Man and Women in a Boxing Ring

Mime in an Emergency Ward at Hospital

'How'd the negotiations go? Take a wild guess.'

I'm not sharing top billing with you on my radio hour. I created it. I am the vision, the reason people tune in, but I'm not a tyrant. I agree you should get your name in the show's title. The Sadie Cohen Radio Hour graciously allows a pervert to make occasional comments. Speak, pervert. Bite me, Tyrant.

'...I really wish you would of told me you wanted to be a ballerina before we got married.'

'Want to have a snow ball battle?'

"Sometimes I think you guys don't want peace."

Blower wars.

Police taking pizzas from crashed pizza delivery bike.

'Knee him in the groin - it always works.'

Mayhem, Inc. Part 19

'At least I've got two weeks leave in Peckham to look forward to.'

Passive-aggressive street signs

'Say, aren't you the building inspector who gave us such a hard time when we were building a house last year?'

'My teacher and I have irrenconcilable differences.'

Attack using an offensive weapon

'Two subjects are off limits here, religion and politics.'

The Stone in the Peach

'We'll solve the conflict with a water pistol fight.'

"That's not what I meant by cover my ass, Henderson!"

'I'll take everything at the division line. You get the rest.'

Halt!. . . This is a stick up!

"Ready!... Aim!..." Democrats

"John, do you know anything about fighting a duel this morning?"

1. Iran... 2. Iraqed.