Conflict Humor Aficionado Gifts

What? I had to fire our flare gun at him before he fired his flare gun at us!

"What the...They wrapped me in toilet paper!"

"It wasn't a farming accident. She just bit my head off again."

Russia's Ukrainian Ambitions.

Loggerheads

"The Jacksons will be there in about an hour and I promise you guys an epic fight!"

"Not to quibble, Helen, but if you look up 'Pathetic Loser' in the dictionary I don't believe anyone's picture is there."

'Oh you mean that silly little email.'

"Sorry, Man! I had no idea Alexa would be here!"

Man and Women in a Boxing Ring

"This could get nasty..."

'Rabbit Leader here, No, you may NOT return to base because your sock keeps botching up,'

'How'd the negotiations go? Take a wild guess.'

Really big bang

'Let's face it, we never got along. I'm just sorry it had to come to this.'

'What do you mean, we're incomapitble? We both like to fight.'

'Want to have a snow ball battle?'

"It's blank because we haven't found a new war yet."

You can't go back.

"Sometimes I think you guys don't want peace."

Blower wars.

Negotiating Skills for Beginners.

"Are you having another feud with the neighbours, Dear?"

Police taking pizzas from crashed pizza delivery bike.

War artists.

Gadaffi is the Last Man Standing

The Boche Catcher

'If you don't want to know the war - look away now.'

War Journalism

To recap: Last week, Rudy attended the Sadie Cohen's Attitude Adjustment and Rapid Response Training Seminar. In case you missed it, a flashback. Drop and give me 20 highly-personal insults. Drop? You call yourself a lady? No, wait, what? But then magic happened. Drop, and give me … Pipe down, bearded lady. Rudy Shock Jock is in the house!

'Knee him in the groin - it always works.'

'Oi, you lot, I don't want any funny business.'

"Soldier, you're out of uniform ..."

'I never forget the launch code. It's the same as my account number at Blockbuster.'

'Go up there and get those guys busy!'