Conflict Comedian Gifts

"Not to quibble, Helen, but if you look up 'Pathetic Loser' in the dictionary I don't believe anyone's picture is there."

The Stone in the Peach

'Two subjects are off limits here, religion and politics.'

'How'd the negotiations go? Take a wild guess.'

'Knee him in the groin - it always works.'

Halt!. . . This is a stick up!

Women's Martial Arts Center

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

"An Iraq attack is one thing, but I'm not sure about a Persian incursion."

War 2023

'Yes, it's easy to make a mistake in a conduct dismissal, Bob. But as mistakes go this is a big one.'

World-Wide Bank: Economic crisis lands in the in-tray.

Fred's not sure who to call first: 911 or the plumber he should have called in the first place.

"Three more classes and I get my belt."

"Great news, things are looking up in Iraq!"

Gentleman, things are worse than we thought.

"Someone has stolen my identity crisis."

"Actually, this is where there was a slight earth tremor."

'You're so illogical. I can never win an argument with you.'

"John, does this mean you've given up looking for work?"

Golf war: 'Fore!'

Toy Soldiers - Toy Human Shield

'Just hold on! Screaming never solved anything.'

"We'll have to pick this up later. My plane just went down, sharks ate my personal assistant, and apparently I'm winning some kind of surfing competition."

How will this impact me?

Man and Women in a Boxing Ring

Ukraine Crisis

"I always put things off until the last minute."

2020 Panic Room

"Listen up - today is the first day in the rest of the coronavirus crisis!"

"This is a much better war then the war to end all wars."

Bear Market.

'Want to have a snow ball battle?'

"Sometimes I think you guys don't want peace."

'You need to say more about the war than just 'oops'.'