Conflict Comedienne Gifts

'You're so illogical. I can never win an argument with you.'

"It wasn't a farming accident. She just bit my head off again."

Loggerheads

"Not to quibble, Helen, but if you look up 'Pathetic Loser' in the dictionary I don't believe anyone's picture is there."

Man and Women in a Boxing Ring

"You're only supposed to leave him one glass of sherry!"

'How'd the negotiations go? Take a wild guess.'

'...I really wish you would of told me you wanted to be a ballerina before we got married.'

'Want to have a snow ball battle?'

"Sometimes I think you guys don't want peace."

Blower wars.

'OK, pal, you've called me a little shrimp for the last time - let's see what you're made of!'

"It's rose, not pink...Because Jesus rose from the dead. He didn't pink from it."

Police taking pizzas from crashed pizza delivery bike.

"You and I lack a basic understanding."

'Alright, I'll join you for dinner later and I'll bring wine: Red or White with this type of dung?'

'Knee him in the groin - it always works.'

Two men arguing on a train journey

'When he said he loved going to Wendy's, I just assumed fast food...'

Passive-aggressive street signs

'Say, aren't you the building inspector who gave us such a hard time when we were building a house last year?'

"It's not good - looks like they've got a full interpretive-dance troupe."

"Oh, so NOW you switch the captions off!"

The Stone in the Peach

'Two subjects are off limits here, religion and politics.'

'Reader, I marinated him.'

'Happy birthday, dear! -- it's a washer and dryer!'

'We'll solve the conflict with a water pistol fight.'

Halt!. . . This is a stick up!

"Ready!... Aim!..." Democrats

Argentea Vulgaris

'Hey, stupid! Don't start something you can't finish!'

'And do you promise to not only talk the talk, but also walk the walk?'

'Norman, I think things are going to turn nasty!'