Comedic Couple Conflicts Gifts

"Oh, so NOW you switch the captions off!"

"April Fools'! You should’ve seen the look on your face!"

Boyfriend of the Month.

"Maybe what she really wants you to do is rub her tummy."

'Do you Duane, paternity suit notwithstanding, take Diane...'

"The blow drier is broken."

"....'Sickness, health? ... better, worse... richer, poorer?'... how about leaving me some wiggle room!"

'Things haven't been the same since the alien abduction.'

'Your dinner's in the microwave.'

"Anyone else would have ship wrecked us on a south seas island."

'The oceans are vast, yet we never go anywhere!'

"Alien life-form or not, those dishes won't wash themselves up!"

'If you don't plan on snacking in between meals, then why did move the fridge in here?'

"You lick, I'll dry."

'...I really wish you would of told me you wanted to be a ballerina before we got married.'

'Don't worry about me, mom, I'll be fine as long as you keep working!'

"Well, I think they fit perfectly."

'OK, pal, you've called me a little shrimp for the last time - let's see what you're made of!'

'How can I miss you if you won't go away!'

"I said I wanted to see you in skimpy clothes..."

'The answer is yes - I'll sign your pre-nuptial agreement.'

Searching for condom.

"You ever notice how heavy your head is?"

'Since we were first married, I vowed I'd never let Jim see me slopping around in the mornings with my hair in curlers!'

"Try to remember to flex your ankles and if possible walk up and down the room."

'That holiday I booked for my wife to the Galapagos Islands? She found her way back, so can we try another destination?'

'How about some marital counselling, hon? Should we grab some while we're in this aisle?' 'No, we're fine on that.'

'My dad warned me about fellas like you!'

'Why don't you put your money in the Bank, instead of stuffing it under the mattress?'

"You don't need tech support. You have those on backwards."