Comedic Conflict Enthusiast Gifts

Man and Women in a Boxing Ring

Blower wars.

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

"It wasn't a farming accident. She just bit my head off again."

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

Russia's Ukrainian Ambitions.

Loggerheads

What? I had to fire our flare gun at him before he fired his flare gun at us!

"And when my head hits the dashboard, I want you to pass me a compensation claim form."

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

"You heading south again this summer?"

Kim Jong Il is angry!

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

"This could get nasty..."

"Any other educational qualifications besides Trump university?"

'...I really wish you would of told me you wanted to be a ballerina before we got married.'

'Yeah, Kirby, it hurts like hell, but dang if I can't stop wigglin' it.'

'Let's face it, we never got along. I'm just sorry it had to come to this.'

The terrible 2's. It was an awful stage.

Student to teacher: 'If my paper is late it's because I'm waiting for the most current event.'

'What do you mean, we're incomapitble? We both like to fight.'

"It's your husband from beyond. He says stop trying to 'Google' him."

'If they let me take you home for christmas, I'll be able to unwrap you with the presents...'

"Where is Master going? Well, today is Young Mistress' fifth birthday party, so logic dictates he's going fishing. . ."

You can't go back.

'So, what have we learnt here? We do not have knife fights on the bouncy castle!'

'OK, pal, you've called me a little shrimp for the last time - let's see what you're made of!'

"When you said you were getting a pet to help you through the lockdown, I thought you meant a cat."

Modern Warfare

'Oh... I was supposed to swallow the pill?!'

Negotiating Skills for Beginners.

Eskimo in Igloo

Police taking pizzas from crashed pizza delivery bike.