Comedic Conflict Aficionado Gifts

'Say, aren't you the building inspector who gave us such a hard time when we were building a house last year?'

Wedding Day Itinerary.

Trumpeter swan meets trombone swan.

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

Russia's Ukrainian Ambitions.

Loggerheads

"You heading south again this summer?"

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

'Evil Olive'- An evil olive has taken out his co-workers with cocktail swords.

Man and Women in a Boxing Ring

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

The terrible 2's. It was an awful stage.

"This could get nasty..."

'Yeah, Kirby, it hurts like hell, but dang if I can't stop wigglin' it.'

'...I really wish you would of told me you wanted to be a ballerina before we got married.'

'Let's face it, we never got along. I'm just sorry it had to come to this.'

Student to teacher: 'If my paper is late it's because I'm waiting for the most current event.'

'What do you mean, we're incomapitble? We both like to fight.'

'If they let me take you home for christmas, I'll be able to unwrap you with the presents...'

Modern Warfare

Blower wars.

'So, what have we learnt here? We do not have knife fights on the bouncy castle!'

"When you said you were getting a pet to help you through the lockdown, I thought you meant a cat."

You can't go back.

"Where is Master going? Well, today is Young Mistress' fifth birthday party, so logic dictates he's going fishing. . ."

'Oh... I was supposed to swallow the pill?!'

Negotiating Skills for Beginners.

Police taking pizzas from crashed pizza delivery bike.

"Are you having another feud with the neighbours, Dear?"