Comedic Conflict Aficionado Gifts

'Say, aren't you the building inspector who gave us such a hard time when we were building a house last year?'

Wedding Day Itinerary.

Trumpeter swan meets trombone swan.

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

"It wasn't a farming accident. She just bit my head off again."

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

Loggerheads

What? I had to fire our flare gun at him before he fired his flare gun at us!

Russia's Ukrainian Ambitions.

"You heading south again this summer?"

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

'Evil Olive'- An evil olive has taken out his co-workers with cocktail swords.

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

Man and Women in a Boxing Ring

'...I really wish you would of told me you wanted to be a ballerina before we got married.'

'Yeah, Kirby, it hurts like hell, but dang if I can't stop wigglin' it.'

The terrible 2's. It was an awful stage.

"This could get nasty..."

'Let's face it, we never got along. I'm just sorry it had to come to this.'

"Any other educational qualifications besides Trump university?"

Student to teacher: 'If my paper is late it's because I'm waiting for the most current event.'

'What do you mean, we're incomapitble? We both like to fight.'

"It's your husband from beyond. He says stop trying to 'Google' him."

'If they let me take you home for christmas, I'll be able to unwrap you with the presents...'

'Oh... I was supposed to swallow the pill?!'

"When you said you were getting a pet to help you through the lockdown, I thought you meant a cat."

"Where is Master going? Well, today is Young Mistress' fifth birthday party, so logic dictates he's going fishing. . ."

Modern Warfare

Blower wars.

You can't go back.

'So, what have we learnt here? We do not have knife fights on the bouncy castle!'

Negotiating Skills for Beginners.

"Are you having another feud with the neighbours, Dear?"