Conflict Comic Gifts

'We'll solve the conflict with a water pistol fight.'

"It wasn't a farming accident. She just bit my head off again."

What? I had to fire our flare gun at him before he fired his flare gun at us!

'No, you haven't missed much. Pretty well everyone called in sick.'

Loser's Podium.

'I re-invested what was left of my 401K into returnable pop cans. I figure by the time I retire I should have about three dollars.'

"Not to quibble, Helen, but if you look up 'Pathetic Loser' in the dictionary I don't believe anyone's picture is there."

'Don't believe everything you hear about global cooling, it's just a theory.'

Man and Women in a Boxing Ring

'How'd the negotiations go? Take a wild guess.'

"Who are you looking at? Want to kick off, do you?"

'...I really wish you would of told me you wanted to be a ballerina before we got married.'

'Want to have a snow ball battle?'

"Sometimes I think you guys don't want peace."

'It doesn't work...'

"Has anyone seen my therapist?"

The Red Cat: Beagle's About/Plate of Feud/Peer Group.

Blower wars.

'I want you to know we're 100% sustainable now. We've phased out tarpits and switched to solar panels and double glazing!'

Police taking pizzas from crashed pizza delivery bike.

Snowman in the middle of summer asks: 'Is it cold, or is it just me?'

'Knee him in the groin - it always works.'

"Worst case of projectile dysfunction I've ever seen!"

Repent! End of World is Near!. . . Wait for World's End at Joe's Bar & Grill.

"Too Marvel?"

War artists.

Cat says to cat using a computer: 'Are you causing trouble in those dog chat-rooms again?'

'When he said he loved going to Wendy's, I just assumed fast food...'

"Leave it, Cedric! - It's always the same; you have a few drinks and all you want to do is take the world on. . .!"

Infographic depiction of how everything works.

'Looks like an inside job to me, Sarge.'

Two men arguing on a train journey

Tarot reading

"Don't ask me about the economy, going forward. I was the boss of the banks in the 2008 crash."

The Stone in the Peach