Conflict Comic Gifts

'We'll solve the conflict with a water pistol fight.'

'No, you haven't missed much. Pretty well everyone called in sick.'

Loser's Podium.

'I re-invested what was left of my 401K into returnable pop cans. I figure by the time I retire I should have about three dollars.'

'Don't believe everything you hear about global cooling, it's just a theory.'

"Not to quibble, Helen, but if you look up 'Pathetic Loser' in the dictionary I don't believe anyone's picture is there."

Man and Women in a Boxing Ring

'How'd the negotiations go? Take a wild guess.'

"Who are you looking at? Want to kick off, do you?"

'...I really wish you would of told me you wanted to be a ballerina before we got married.'

'Want to have a snow ball battle?'

Blower wars.

The Red Cat: Beagle's About/Plate of Feud/Peer Group.

"Sometimes I think you guys don't want peace."

'It doesn't work...'

"Has anyone seen my therapist?"

Police taking pizzas from crashed pizza delivery bike.

'I want you to know we're 100% sustainable now. We've phased out tarpits and switched to solar panels and double glazing!'

'Knee him in the groin - it always works.'

War artists.

"Too Marvel?"

"Worst case of projectile dysfunction I've ever seen!"

Repent! End of World is Near!. . . Wait for World's End at Joe's Bar & Grill.

Snowman in the middle of summer asks: 'Is it cold, or is it just me?'

Cat says to cat using a computer: 'Are you causing trouble in those dog chat-rooms again?'

"Leave it, Cedric! - It's always the same; you have a few drinks and all you want to do is take the world on. . .!"

'When he said he loved going to Wendy's, I just assumed fast food...'

'Looks like an inside job to me, Sarge.'

Two men arguing on a train journey

Worm complaints desk

The Stone in the Peach

Tarot reading

An Oarsman