Crisis Comic Gifts

'I re-invested what was left of my 401K into returnable pop cans. I figure by the time I retire I should have about three dollars.'

"Has anyone seen my therapist?"

Repent! End of World is Near!. . . Wait for World's End at Joe's Bar & Grill.

Tarot reading

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

"Of course it's not clean energy -- We don't have clean ANYTHING!"

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

Euro crisis: The euro walking over a cliff

'Yes, it's easy to make a mistake in a conduct dismissal, Bob. But as mistakes go this is a big one.'

World-Wide Bank: Economic crisis lands in the in-tray.

Fred's not sure who to call first: 911 or the plumber he should have called in the first place.

"I shouldn't worry if I were you. You have a habit of landing on your feet..!"

"Someone has stolen my identity crisis."

"Actually, this is where there was a slight earth tremor."

Gentleman, things are worse than we thought.

"John, does this mean you've given up looking for work?"

'Don't believe everything you hear about global cooling, it's just a theory.'

'It's your father. He says he's joining Bob Dylan's never ending tour.'

'Just hold on! Screaming never solved anything.'

"We'll have to pick this up later. My plane just went down, sharks ate my personal assistant, and apparently I'm winning some kind of surfing competition."

In case of fake news about a phony emergency ring false alarm.

How will this impact me?

"That's a relief - I thought you said crisis meeting..."

Investor loses shirt in Eurozone meltdown.

"I suppose one of us should call somebody."

"I always put things off until the last minute."

"Listen up - today is the first day in the rest of the coronavirus crisis!"

2020 Panic Room

Jetsgo out of business.

Bear Market.

'If the global economy goes bust, there's a middle east war, and ocean levels rise. . .our 'Armageddon fund' will do just fine.'

'It doesn't work...'

Pessimists saw a ship sinking. Optimists saw that they needn't worry about the Norovirus.

Noah's Ark

'I want you to know we're 100% sustainable now. We've phased out tarpits and switched to solar panels and double glazing!'