Crisis Humor Gifts

"I suppose one of us should call somebody."

British savings accounts

Sisyphus and coronavirus

Euro crisis: The euro walking over a cliff

'Yes, it's easy to make a mistake in a conduct dismissal, Bob. But as mistakes go this is a big one.'

World-Wide Bank: Economic crisis lands in the in-tray.

Fred's not sure who to call first: 911 or the plumber he should have called in the first place.

"Actually, this is where there was a slight earth tremor."

"Someone has stolen my identity crisis."

"I shouldn't worry if I were you. You have a habit of landing on your feet..!"

Gentleman, things are worse than we thought.

'I re-invested what was left of my 401K into returnable pop cans. I figure by the time I retire I should have about three dollars.'

"John, does this mean you've given up looking for work?"

'Just hold on! Screaming never solved anything.'

'It's your father. He says he's joining Bob Dylan's never ending tour.'

In case of emergency...break glass: Crisis Manual.

"We'll have to pick this up later. My plane just went down, sharks ate my personal assistant, and apparently I'm winning some kind of surfing competition."

In case of fake news about a phony emergency ring false alarm.

How will this impact me?

Red Ink: "Busy as a bee, Ted, given the niche we've cut out for ourselves."

"Listen up - today is the first day in the rest of the coronavirus crisis!"

Jetsgo out of business.

2020 Panic Room

"I always put things off until the last minute."

"That's a relief - I thought you said crisis meeting..."

Save the bacon,

'You've got hopelessness and despair until 3:25, at which time your survival instincts are scheduled to kick in.'

Bear Market.

Banana Midlife Crisis

'If the global economy goes bust, there's a middle east war, and ocean levels rise. . .our 'Armageddon fund' will do just fine.'

Nation of Has-Beens (and Never-Will-Bes)

"Has anyone seen my therapist?"

Pessimists saw a ship sinking. Optimists saw that they needn't worry about the Norovirus.

Noah's Ark

"Oh great, now even gonorrhoea has covid!"