Crisis Humor Gifts

"I suppose one of us should call somebody."

British savings accounts

Sisyphus and coronavirus

Euro crisis: The euro walking over a cliff

'Yes, it's easy to make a mistake in a conduct dismissal, Bob. But as mistakes go this is a big one.'

World-Wide Bank: Economic crisis lands in the in-tray.

Fred's not sure who to call first: 911 or the plumber he should have called in the first place.

"Someone has stolen my identity crisis."

"Actually, this is where there was a slight earth tremor."

"I shouldn't worry if I were you. You have a habit of landing on your feet..!"

Gentleman, things are worse than we thought.

'I re-invested what was left of my 401K into returnable pop cans. I figure by the time I retire I should have about three dollars.'

"John, does this mean you've given up looking for work?"

'Just hold on! Screaming never solved anything.'

In case of emergency...break glass: Crisis Manual.

"We'll have to pick this up later. My plane just went down, sharks ate my personal assistant, and apparently I'm winning some kind of surfing competition."

How will this impact me?

Red Ink: "Busy as a bee, Ted, given the niche we've cut out for ourselves."

"I always put things off until the last minute."

2020 Panic Room

"Listen up - today is the first day in the rest of the coronavirus crisis!"

Save the bacon,

'You've got hopelessness and despair until 3:25, at which time your survival instincts are scheduled to kick in.'

Bear Market.

'If the global economy goes bust, there's a middle east war, and ocean levels rise. . .our 'Armageddon fund' will do just fine.'

"Has anyone seen my therapist?"

Banana Midlife Crisis

Pessimists saw a ship sinking. Optimists saw that they needn't worry about the Norovirus.

Noah's Ark

"Oh great, now even gonorrhoea has covid!"

'According to my bank statement...THEY are overdrawn.'