Crisis Humorists Gifts

If Noah Had Been a Member of FEMA.

British savings accounts

Sisyphus and coronavirus

Euro crisis: The euro walking over a cliff

'Yes, it's easy to make a mistake in a conduct dismissal, Bob. But as mistakes go this is a big one.'

World-Wide Bank: Economic crisis lands in the in-tray.

Fred's not sure who to call first: 911 or the plumber he should have called in the first place.

"Actually, this is where there was a slight earth tremor."

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."

"Someone has stolen my identity crisis."

Repossessions

Gentleman, things are worse than we thought.

'Today a ray of hope . . .'

'I think we're going to have to add another storey downstairs...'

"John, does this mean you've given up looking for work?"

"He is stingy. If he is giving gold it's only because prices have hit rock-bottom..."

'Just hold on! Screaming never solved anything.'

'Due to budget cutbacks, we need to get by with less.'

"We'll have to pick this up later. My plane just went down, sharks ate my personal assistant, and apparently I'm winning some kind of surfing competition."

In case of fake news about a phony emergency ring false alarm.

How will this impact me?

Red Ink: "Busy as a bee, Ted, given the niche we've cut out for ourselves."

Jetsgo out of business.

"Listen up - today is the first day in the rest of the coronavirus crisis!"

'Excuse me, sir, I know you didn't get your bonus, your house is mortgaged to the hilt, you have two kids in college, your employer is facing bankruptcy and . . .'

"That's a relief - I thought you said crisis meeting..."

"I suppose one of us should call somebody."

"I always put things off until the last minute."

2020 Panic Room

'You've got hopelessness and despair until 3:25, at which time your survival instincts are scheduled to kick in.'

Bear Market.

'If the global economy goes bust, there's a middle east war, and ocean levels rise. . .our 'Armageddon fund' will do just fine.'

"You're moving in with us? We were going to move in with you."

Nation of Has-Beens (and Never-Will-Bes)

'Personally, I thin the downsizing went too far.'