Economic Crisis Humorists Gifts

Nation of Has-Beens (and Never-Will-Bes)

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

"The fish - will it be the market price at the time of ordering, the time of eating or the time of paying?"

"No, it hasn't, but when the sky does fall your investments are going to do very, very, well.''

Aliens - 'We heard stuff is cheap here.'

'Nonsense, Harry, it's my treat. I'm filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.'

Trickledown economics

"Good to see they're trying to keep the high street vibe."

Office of economic forecasting.

'We buy and sell them.'

'It's the NEW Chinese Stock Market Report.'

'Today the stock market closed early so money managers could take time to stop and smell the profits.'

'Oh dear. I seem to have put the decimal point in the wrong place again.'

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."

Repossessions

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

'Today a ray of hope . . .'

'I think we're going to have to add another storey downstairs...'

A Double-Dip Recession with Sprinkles

"That man's a legend in this office. He has 100% accuracy in predicting the past."

'Due to budget cutbacks, we need to get by with less.'

Government Handouts.

Grand Opening and Closing Down Sale simultaneously occurring.

'Someday, Son, all of this will be yo....!'

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'

"He is stingy. If he is giving gold it's only because prices have hit rock-bottom..."

'Great! Thanks to the damn mortage crisis, we've got to live in a neighbourhood now where we wake up with yellow feet every second morning...'

'And the good news is - we're in deep doo-doo.'

Red Ink: "Busy as a bee, Ted, given the niche we've cut out for ourselves."

'Of course business is slow. Would we want it any other way?'

Thanks to his stocks, Bob now lives in the middle of a great green garden outside the crowded city.

"These days, many people can only afford to drink from home."