Confrontation Comedians Gifts

Passive-aggressive street signs

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

The Nanuit Have 2,027 Words For Snow, But, After Awhile, They Just Talk About Something Else...

'...Love, honor, and obey, no strings attached?'

"Three more classes and I get my belt."

"Not to quibble, Helen, but if you look up 'Pathetic Loser' in the dictionary I don't believe anyone's picture is there."

'I thought Lobsters mate for life.'

'You know I hate weddings - they remind me that I went through one!'

'How'd the negotiations go? Take a wild guess.'

'And you, William Elwood Hoonavogel, are you willing to give up your free range status?'

'Want to have a snow ball battle?'

Wedding Coin Tosser

"Sometimes I think you guys don't want peace."

'OK, pal, you've called me a little shrimp for the last time - let's see what you're made of!'

A waiter strictly adhering to his religion

"Do you have anything fit for a King?"

"Being vague and general?" "No, that's the first law of psychics, I want the law of phsics."

'I tried letting it all hang out, and somebody stepped on it.'

'I wish my marriage was 'catch and release'!'

'Knee him in the groin - it always works.'

Scavenenger's hunt.

"My humour needs bringing up to date. Do you think the New School might have something?"

'Blunt women are usually dull.'

'When he said he loved going to Wendy's, I just assumed fast food...'

'Two subjects are off limits here, religion and politics.'

The Stone in the Peach

'He's right, you know. You're not allowed to bring a date to your own wedding.'

'That will be fine, go ahead and book - it'll just take a couple of days for me to convince him that it was his idea.'

'This next bit might hurt just a teenie-weenie bit...'