Confrontation Comedians Pillows

Passive-aggressive street signs

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

The Nanuit Have 2,027 Words For Snow, But, After Awhile, They Just Talk About Something Else...

"Three more classes and I get my belt."

'...Love, honor, and obey, no strings attached?'

"Not to quibble, Helen, but if you look up 'Pathetic Loser' in the dictionary I don't believe anyone's picture is there."

"Till death do us part? Hers or mine?"

'I thought Lobsters mate for life.'

I'm not sharing top billing with you on my radio hour. I created it. I am the vision, the reason people tune in, but I'm not a tyrant. I agree you should get your name in the show's title. The Sadie Cohen Radio Hour graciously allows a pervert to make occasional comments. Speak, pervert. Bite me, Tyrant.

'How'd the negotiations go? Take a wild guess.'

'You know I hate weddings - they remind me that I went through one!'

'And you, William Elwood Hoonavogel, are you willing to give up your free range status?'

'Want to have a snow ball battle?'

Wedding Coin Tosser

A waiter strictly adhering to his religion

"Sometimes I think you guys don't want peace."

'OK, pal, you've called me a little shrimp for the last time - let's see what you're made of!'

'I tried letting it all hang out, and somebody stepped on it.'

"Do you have anything fit for a King?"

'I wish my marriage was 'catch and release'!'

'Knee him in the groin - it always works.'

"Being vague and general?" "No, that's the first law of psychics, I want the law of phsics."

'Blunt women are usually dull.'

"My humour needs bringing up to date. Do you think the New School might have something?"

Scavenenger's hunt.

'When he said he loved going to Wendy's, I just assumed fast food...'

"You did what?! That's a mortal sin I haven't ever heard before!"

"I take it the wedding chapel is to the right?"

'Two subjects are off limits here, religion and politics.'

The Stone in the Peach

"Do I have fourteen days to change my mind if I don't like being married?"

'He's right, you know. You're not allowed to bring a date to your own wedding.'