Conversational Comedians Gifts

The Nanuit Have 2,027 Words For Snow, But, After Awhile, They Just Talk About Something Else...

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

"Do you think Trump has read 'Contemporary Relativism and the Death of Meaning'?"

'The best gig I can get you for your comeback, Lazarus, is DJ in the graveyard slot.'

"Oh, don't mind us. We boo everybody."

Football Delivery

"...and another thing...stop referring to me as user-friendly"

"Kevin's job as a train announcer seriously affected his love-life..."

'Human resources gave us the idea of trying 'blind interviewing'...'

Memory Foam Mattress.

"I'm disabling autocorrect, because it reminds me too much of my mother-in-law."

'Is it just me or is a good man really that hard to find?'

Fencing Venn Graph

"Are you talking to me?"

Modern animal communication

'-and to all you night owls out there...'

Parking validation

"My wife's career is in ruins... She's an archaeologist!"

"I see by your resume that you've got a big problem with formatting."

Text in a bottle

"The face of the pear-shaped man reminded me of the mashed turnips that Aunt Mildred used to serve alongside the Thanksgiving turkey. As he got out of the strawberry-hued car, his immense fists looked like two slabs of slightly gnawed ham. He waddled over

Department of Knock, Knock Jokes: 'Ring bell for service.'

"Are you a yes man or a no man?"

"My humour needs bringing up to date. Do you think the New School might have something?"

“That’s not the nuclear football That’s my gym bag.”

What the critics are saying about Hell.

'It's all about hunting and killing with you, isn't it? Why can't you just have fun in the woods?'

"You know how last year you told me you'd teach me how to pick up ladies?"

Scavenenger's hunt.

Conversation Topics and Guidelines Approved for this Area...

'The feedback on the extended opening hours was generally excellent, although some people feel we should provide croissants and coffee in the morning and a little late supper in the evening.'

BILL & YADDA-YADDA GATES foundation

"We cannot serve meals on the plane because you cannot take your mask off to eat... So we are only selling our snacks."

'That will be fine, go ahead and book - it'll just take a couple of days for me to convince him that it was his idea.'

"Look, I'm trying to say something here, can you stop butting in?"