'The feedback on the extended opening hours was generally excellent, although some people feel we should provide croissants and coffee in the morning and a little late supper in the evening.'
Professional Comedians Gifts
Looking for a gift that truly resonates with a professional comedian? Our collection features clever, humorous items that celebrate their craft and comedic spirit. Whether it's a mug to fuel their next joke or a print to inspire their next set, these gifts are designed to get smiles and laughs. Ideal for comedy buffs or performers alike, find something unique that matches their sharp wit and creative flair. Celebrate their passion for comedy with a thoughtful, funny gift that they'll cherish.
No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.
The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'
Occu-Pie Mars
"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."
"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."
"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."
The Signing of tthe United States Constitution
I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....
"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."
Showbiz Awards
Zombie standup
They're Not Just That Into It
In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.
"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."
"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"
Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.
"If I might be serious for a moment..."
12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'
"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."
"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"
"Aristophanes explains comedy"
Trump pardons
THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK
Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!
'Your French dip, sir.'
'The circle is complete!'
'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'
To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)
"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."
No-Work Orange
The Rooster Comedian.
"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."
If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!
Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.
Professional Comedians Gifts Collection
Professional Comedians Mugs
Explore our collection of fun and witty mugs perfect for professional comedians—great for coffee, tea, or a good laugh.
Professional Comedians Pillows
Discover our funny pillows that add a humorous touch to any room or dressing area—ideal for comedy lovers.
Professional Comedians Prints
Browse our humorous prints that capture the spirit of comedy—great for decorating or giving as a thoughtful gift.
Professional Comedians T-Shirts
Check out our selection of humorous t-shirts designed for comedians—perfect for performances or casual laughs.